I might just be back for a while.

I've been gone for a while. I tend to get so wrapped up in my own life, I lose things and people along the way. It's why I am not a very good friend and why I suck so very badly at communication. I just focus on what's in front of me. What is going on right now is what takes precedence over planning for the future, or making sure people from my past stay in my present. Also, I am a terribly awkward person, and conversations can be incredibly hard for me. I know that sounds weird, but I am always unsure of what to say next. Another weird thing about me is that sometimes it is hard for me to talk about myself. Other times I can't shut up about myself, but most of the time I just don't want to talk about how uneventful my life is. Of course, that probably sounds strange coming from someone writing in a blog. I think it is easier to talk about myself when I think no one is listening. A couple things have changed since my last post. I am now doing the college program at Disneyland. I went home for a while first, but then decided to come here while I waited to transfer to Cal State East Bay. During my time at home. I got into my first sort of relationship. It was just a few dates, but for me that is a big deal. Not to sound conceited, but I get asked out plenty. I just don't usually say yes. The guys I want to ask me out are never interested. And I am not usually interested in the guys who do ask me out. Probably because of a deep set fear of intimacy and rejection, but who doesn't keep a set of those lying around? The moral of this story is that I took it way too seriously, and screwed it up totally. I like to tell myself that it is no big deal, because we only dated for a month, and only went on a handful of dates. But, since he was my first date and my first kiss. It was a little hard to swallow at the time. I'm over it now, but I still wish I had handled it better. But, fast forward to January, and I am living and working in Anaheim. I am still doing retail, but this time it is downtown Disney, which is much faster paced. I like it, though. There is no place like California. I am living in a two bedroom apartment in the disney housing. I have four roommates: three of us are in one room, and then the other room has two people. It is a nice apartment, and there is a minimal amount of drama. Probably because half of us work nights and the other half work days. I have made a lot of friends, but as always I usually revert to my loner tendencies and sit at the apartment reading, watching TV or doing homework. Still have my procrastination problem, though. I'll work on it later. That's the basic update on my life. I am trying to write more, and I think that updating this blog will help me get the words flowing. I have an idea fora story or a novel. I haven't decided yet. I haven't gotten too far with it, but it is the first idea I have been excited about in a long time. Maybe I'll even post tidbits here. Just to give me courage to show it to the people in my life. Here's hoping things get better. -Joe P.S. Cute moment of the week: I talked to a young girl while I was at the register, and I did the usual bit of asking her about her day, and what her favorite ride was, etc. She was rather sad when she got to my register, and I just wanted to cheer her up a bit, since her mom was clearly a bit tired and cranky. Anyway, when I was handing the bag to her mother when she asked if she could give me a lollypop. It was so cute, and she was so sad when her mom said no. But, she walked away happy because I told her that Mickey Mouse would give me one later. I love that young children still have the innocence to believe that Mickey Mouse is real.